Written by Norma Mondoñedo ** In Remembrance: Christina Celia Malone Rosario 11/8/77-11/28/04, a/k/a Teen, Molly, Chris, Hammer, Malone, Christine, Tini, and Mommy. ** First, I’m not sure where to start, but here it goes. The loss of Christine is one of the most devastating things I have gone through. And I hope and pray that my grief of this untimely and terrible loss lessens with the wonderful memories Christine left behind. I can’t say enough how the outpouring of affection for Tini has touched me deeply. I am truly grateful to all of those who took the time to write heartfelt notes on the website. And, of course, thank you Theresa and Johny for putting it together. The website has personally helped me and has also been another way of keeping in touch with some of you. I am also extremely thankful for the photos of Christine that I received. Thank you, Laura, Joann, Jenn and Theresa. It was particularly heartwarming to have witnessed the emotional and comforting support that everyone gave to each other while Christine was ill and after her passing. Continue to remember Christine and keep her in your prayers. ** The loss of Christine has caused me to view the world and life in a new way. In October of last year my eldest brother lost his only daughter of 32 years to cancer and both of these tragic deaths have been a revelation of what my purpose in life should be. I have also learned that life is too short for trivial people and things. At the cost of these two magnificent woman I have gained more understanding - and the true meaning - of unconditional love, trust, integrity and dignity. ** As close as we were, I don’t and will not make the claim that I knew everything about Tini but this much I knew. Tini was a free spirit. She had individuality, was independent, she was outspoken but sincere, she was spontaneous, she was uninhibited. A maverick – my hero. For me, the loss of our beloved Tini in a word is “incalculable”. ** Christine as she was within, her exterior was beautiful. On the maternal side, she was of Peruvian and Italian descent. On the paternal side she was of English and Irish descent. I’ll never forget her beautiful face. The white of her perfect teeth. Her perfectly straight nose. The arch of her gorgeous smile. Her trademark dimples. The twinkle of her amber eyes. The way in which she stroked her gorgeous brown hair behind her ear. The way in which she gestured with her index finger while the other hand on the hip. The way she walked – her strut. Her body language when she laughed. Her charismatic ways. The way she held a cigarette. ** When I first met the family, Tini was about eight years old, and the funny-looking Cabbage Patch doll was still very popular. She had her dolls and anything Cabbage Patch. About five years later, when my daughter was a tot she was given the cutest vintage Gerber baby doll that once belonged to Maryann and then Tini. My daughter put poor Pepe through years of being dragged on the floor and got pretty worn. For Christmas, about 12 years ago we had the doll rescued and restored to its original glory. I’m glad we did this, Joan-Maxine will always have a doll that her beloved cousin, Tini, played with. ** As a girl, Tini was shy. She shared with me, and it wasn’t any secret, that when she was growing up, even though she appeared to be so tough, she was really somewhat of a shadow. Hiding. Withdrawn. But she came out of her shell, didn’t she. Cross her and you were in for it – certainly, many would agree on this. But that’s what I admired about her – she was no pushover. ** There were gaps in our lives when Tini was growing up. I lost some critical years when her family moved away, but we did some major catching-up in her latter years. And some memorable years they were. My memories of the fun and crazy times and the heart-to-heart quiet times I spent with Christine were special. Although extremely special to me, if I recited all of the stories and memories I shared with Christine, they would be endless. The memorable times and adventures she had with her buddies were far more “different and interesting” than mine. But those stories, especially, will go untold. Every woman has a secret or two. ** Teen, was always thankful for a well-cooked meal. One could see the happiness in her eyes. A second helping, and sometimes thirds, was a good indicator. She enjoyed certain Peruvian (green rice) and Puerto Rican dishes. She would devour my pork and rice but she mostly enjoyed Italian food, especially pizza. Another snack food she liked was ice cream but Cherry-Vanilla was her favorite, and of course it was– her signature color was Red. If I were asked to describe her with a color, it would have to be Red. She was a rose, she was a girl of girls, she wasn’t a lady – she was a WOMAN, she was warm, she was loving, she had heart, she was sweet, she had fury, she was sharp, she was powerful. Again, she was my hero. ** Like a bat, she was nocturnal. What needed to be done was done when most of us were sleeping. She surfed the internet a great deal. I looked forward to the next day at the office in getting emails from her. She was so funny with her eBay searches (she knew how I’ve been trying to get the 1988 Holiday Barbie (the year my daughter was born), but it is so expensive. She had finally found one and made a bid. But to her dismay someone else got it for an unbelievable 21 bucks. She was so upset. Last year, when I couldn’t find the perfect necklace to go with my royal queen costume, our dearest went on a search for me. If you’ve seen last year’s Halloween pictures, the necklace and earrings I wore my darling dearest picked out for me. So you see, she was that kind of person, thoughtful and unselfish. ** Now, if you really knew Tini, she was serious about her Tequila (Cuervo). She was the meister of tequila shots. She was no joke. She would tell me about her beer and shot drink adventures – on a New Year’s party she gave me a demonstration. She could have made a darn good club hostess. She had so much charm. She was so bubbly when she would go around offering her famous jell-o shots. “Bacardi, Vodka”. She lit up the room with her warmth and delightful personality. All my guests adored her. We had so many good times at my parties. ** Tini didn’t care for sports much, but like Johny she was a WWF fan. That’s probably where she learned her moves. (lol). For the exception of sunglasses, she didn’t care to wear eyeglasses. “I look like a nerd-da”. Once she got contacts they became part of her anatomy. Christine enjoyed good television. Her favorite evening show was King of Queens - she had a crush on the adorable funny-guy Doug. She also liked watching Six Feet Under – she liked the eccentric Claire and totally confused brother Nate. She appreciated simple things in life like an ice cold Corona, a Newport and good conversation. She liked scary movies but was traumatized by Evil Dead. Her favorite movie was One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. In her adult life she probably wore a dress five times at max, including her wedding dress. And, of course, she hated nylons and high heels. She would eat green rice with lemon or lomito everyday if she could. She couldn’t bear natural or artificial heat and wouldn’t live without a/c – she was a little artic. She didn’t care for cats. Liked big cars – trucks. She was just as crazy as me about All Hallows Eve. She found pleasure and gratification in looking at and touching rocks/boulders; the warmth, illumination and magic of fire; the moon’s brilliance and the sound of water. The color pink nauseated her. But red excited her soul. Her taste for art was extreme – she liked both abstract and impressionist art. Tini’s favorite flower was the magic flower, the flower of the Incas – Sun Flowers. I don’t believe that she knew that the sunflower was a sacred symbol of early Peruvians. She always remarked about her double-jointed fingers. “I can’t stand them-ma, illll-la”. She always pointed out her flaws. But I reminded her that she was perfect. As a teenager, I don’t recall whether Tini had formal training in driving, but she’d take any opportunity to get behind the wheel. Like Thelma and Louise – she would go on her adventures with her friends and have the time of her life. She always wanted a brand new pick-up truck and even fantasized about a classic like a ‘67 red Chevy – Tini was a girl with style. ** Tini and I had endless conversations about her dream of being in the floral business. We talked about my sowing some sun flower seedlings in my backyard, but she pointed out (with a hard chuckle yet serious) that she would never visit – Tini was dangerously allergic to bees. Go figure. I’m sure you all know the Up-State bee-sting story. Well, to her disappointment, she made the local paper. ** When she was older, she took on for fun the hobby of scrap-booking. She left an impressive collection. She was very creative. Didn’t go buying those expensive add-ons. Tini’s books were from scratch. I just hope her collection is in safe-keeping for Alyssa. She also liked going to garage sales and thrift shops. She had a little bit of Martha Stewart in her. She was a smart shopper, too. She would go to the “oops” aisle at the Home Depot and buy designer paints at the fraction of the cost and if she still wasn’t satisfied with the color she would mix them herself. Although at times Tini complained about the labor, she enjoyed decorating and painting her apartment. She fancied Asian décor and enjoyed the illumination and smells of candles. Last year, Christine gave the kitchen a makeover with a chef theme for Jorge’s birthday. She was so pleased with her work. ** I started to notice that Tini was reinventing herself once again. A new way of thinking, new beliefs. I started to see a spiritual side of her. Not like a religious fanatic. She believed that a good Christian wasn’t necessarily a person that went to church every Sunday, or that preached all the time. She felt a little uncomfortable about people like that, because some are hypocritical. You know, not practicing what they preach. She believed that a good Christian, whatever your faith, is a person that is genuinely good – a human being with compassion and love for others. She wanted to learn more about life, the meaning of life. She wanted to experience meditation. She would tell me she wanted to travel. She wanted to go cross-country. Wanted to meet new people. See new places. ** Tini enjoyed music. She didn’t have much rhythm, had two left feet, but nevertheless appreciated good music. Her style was pretty eclectic. As a child she went from Country (Dolly Parton and Patsy Klein and a little Elvis too) to when she was growing up -- Pop (Madonna) to Mosh-pit music to when she was an adult -- modern Folk to Reggae (Marley) to Raggaeton and in her latter years took pleasure in the soothing and spiritual sounds of instrumental American-Indian music (Derek’s pipe in particular). But hated Disco. ** It would make me crazy when Tini talked about leaving New York. Tini wanted to start a new life in Florida or North Carolina. She wanted a house she could call home. Decorate it, fix it. Put her name on it. She wanted a house with a porch and a big backyard with a play area for Alyssa. She wanted stability. As a child, her family moved around a great deal and she didn’t want that for Alyssa. She wanted Alyssa to finish high school in the same town where she would start kindergarten. She wanted nothing but the best for her girl. Alyssa was her world. ** Tini, like most married folks, talked about the not-so-happy times in her marriage. But in time, she learned to appreciate and enjoy Jorge as a companion. She was proud of his accomplishments. As Jorge told many after Christine’s passing, he had some struggles, including the death of both parents, but Tini supported him and was with him when he needed to rise above his troubling times. She would call me about his new food experiments and dishes at school. She was very proud of Jorge’s progress. She was very grateful that he was a good and attentive father to her precious child. Jorge, she left you something beautiful. Christine loved Alyssa more than life itself. Understandably, it’s going to be a rough road for you but I hope your paths lead you and Alyssa to a happy and productive life as Christine would want it to be. ** For the short while that I got to know this person, I learned so much about her. She is a young woman without commitment, obligation or responsibility to know one, but, yet, gave so much of herself without protest or regret. This young woman made a huge impression on me. There are a few adults I can think of that can learn a thing or two from this person. Christine’s gratitude for everything this amazing person did (before, during and even after) is grander than she can ever imagine. Christine’s love for you will never go away – it’s forever, Amy. ** The way I live and have taught my daughter is that a parent’s love is unconditional and continuous. So it’s unclear if they had any doubts of Christine’s feelings for them. There were times with a lot of sentiment in her heart, Christine would express her adoration for her father and love for her mother. It was easy for her to open up to me on that subject because she knew that I’m in a similar situation. We were both firm on how we felt. But sadly when you love someone and you’re forced to close your doors to that person, closing your heart is a bit of a challenge. The love never goes away. ** I always tried to tell Christine to look at the glass half full and not half empty. Life is too short for foolishness. That her baby, husband, and herself should have been her prime concern. There were times that Christine was not thinking about Christine. She was going through some tough times. Even though she appeared as if everything was alright, there was sadness in her life – she cried more often than not. But my heart finds some comfort in that right before she took ill and passed – on her 27th birthday celebration that she and Jorge shared – she was with some of her close friends and family and was incredibly happy. Her smile and laughter were endless. I’ll never forget that night and glad that I videotaped it. ** Tini loved her baby sister as if she birthed her. She would have moved mountains for Laura’s happiness and well-being. She didn’t move any mountains, but moved up higher than them – to Heaven – from where Tini can see that her baby sister, with Johny’s care, is going to be just fine. She would always say that not only are you gorgeous but that you have the brains in the family. Keep making her proud and keep up the good work, beautiful. ** Christine was the most significant person in Johny’s life and the void that is in his heart may undoubtedly never mend. You’re an outstanding young man and Tini was extremely proud of you. Her love and concern for you was of monumental proportions and is an undying one. You were, in her words, “my rock”. And one can certainly see why. ** Tini loved Maryann. True, like many siblings, there may have been times they didn’t see things eye-to-eye, but that didn’t change the fact that Tini loved her sister as Maryann loved her too. Their love was mutual, but not necessarily because society says that’s the way it should be, but simply because their love was natural and because they were each others best friend first. A sister’s bond, affection and love cannot be imitated or ever duplicated. Sweetie, it’s inconceivable to me how I would deal with the loss of a sister. Smile and remember the wonder years. ** Joann you were a good friend to Molly. With the bad times and the sad times, I know you guys had the greatest of times together. She loved and trusted you like a sister – you had a special bond. Your love for each other was truly unconditional. I particularly remember Tini telling me that you showed her how to keep a home. You showed her how to make a house a home. And that you were “freakn’ awesome”. ** Theresa, you were someone Christine looked up to. Not only a loving friend, but as her mentor, too. You were there for each other through thick and thin. You did so much for her. And even well after the loss of Christine, you continue to sacrifice so much for her little family, without thought and without reward. You have a heart of gold. ** They say that in the manner in which someone is mourned and remembered is testament of how that person is valued and missed. Suzanne, Jenn and Josh, Chris, Deacon Frank, Derek, Basilios, Grandma Mondoñedo and so many others, if it weren’t for your kindness and generosity, Tini’s service wouldn’t have been possible. ** Friends, she had many. Friends that she cherished and loved, were select. But friends that truly loved her and valued her friendship, you know who you are. It’s unmistakable from the photos that I have seen and talks I have had with some of you that Christine shared many incredible and unforgettable moments with her buddies. You guys have expressed that she made a difference in your lives. But remember and know that in some way or another you were an integral part of her life and made a tremendous difference in hers, too. I know you miss Christine and wish she was still here to make you laugh – Or breakup and makeup. :-) I know she was sometimes a stubborn softy-toughie . She knew how to press ones buttons. But we wouldn’t want her any other way. ** My Halloween party this year, as you may know, was dedicated to Christine. Jenn & Josh, Suzanne, Chris, Matski attended, and of course, Johny, Laura, my husband, daughter and sisters were there. They viewed the black and white photos of last year’s party that I posted on the wall. I could see and feel their emotions when they gathered to look at the photos of Christine that I put together in an album. There is also a small tower of candles for those that wished to light a candle in Tini’s name. On the wall there is a photo that Joann sent me that I had enlarged. It’s a head shot of Tini. I sensed from the photo that she was very happy at the time and felt that photo to be the perfect one to place next to the enlarged note that is inscribed on the funeral card. (“We little knew that morning, God was going to call your name . . .”). On a Tiffany frame (found antique) that Christine gave me last year I chose to put a photo of Christine in her teens. Underneath the frame I bundled together a red velvet blouse that belonged to Tini. I knew it was going to be different this Halloween without Christine, but didn’t know how I would personally react once the festivities started. I was actually fine. After the very last three guest left at 6:45am Oscar and I watched the video. It was then that it really hit me. In the video, I saw that the guests were taking turns passing around the jell-o shots. It was extremely strange that someone else was doing it and not Tini. Once the video was over, on my way up to the bedroom I was stopped short at the bottom of the stairs where I have Tini’s memorial. I stood there and looked at everything. I lit a candle, whispered a prayer and on behalf of Maryann, Joann, Theresa, Jenn H. and Jessica lit five additional candles. Then, page-by-page gazed at the photos of Christine. I was overpowered and found myself in a state of grief like the morning we lost her. ** On Sunday, November 6th I visited for the first time Christine’s place of rest. I picked up a bunch of Sun Flowers and left them for Tini and her beloved grandpa. I stood there speechless, holding back so much anger, pain and grief. It was hard to believe and still difficult to accept that she is no longer here. It wasn’t her turn. *** ~~~~~I leave you with a story: Last year Tini did not have Thanksgiving, like many of us, at a dinner table. But it may surprise you to know that she did have her Turkey with all the fixn’s. Last year, on September 25th, we had a little get together. It was her uncle Oscar’s birthday. My sister with her husband, Tini and I planned an intimate dinner for her uncle’s birthday. The traditional roast pork and rice with peas seemed predictable and boring. To Christine’s delight, we had Thanksgiving in September. I set up the dining table with china, candles and linen that had the feel of autumn. Tini put her finishing touch with a bouquet of flowers that she so perfectly put together. The banquet table was bountiful. Jorge made dessert that Tini bragged so much about. It was de-lish. So we ate, ate and ate. Then we laughed, laughed and laughed. Then we drank, drank and drank. Then we talked and we talked a lot about everything. Once again, she told me about her dream of having her own business, a flower shop. She talked about a possible treasure she found that may have helped her put a deposit on a house. We talked about Jorge’s progress in culinary school and how life was going to change. And, of course, the conversation centered around Alyssa. With a smile from ear-to-ear, and a sparkle in her eyes she talked about Alyssa with so much pride and love. She wanted only the best for her little girl. She talked about daycare, Alyssa’s personality. That Alyssa doesn’t like dolls – only super heroes or toys that appealed mostly to boys. We talked about how cute Alyssa looked in the “Woody” costume. How her baby likes to sing Cher songs. She was proud of her baby’s uniqueness. In our talk Tini mentioned that for Christmas she wanted to get a new coat for Alyssa. With excitement, Tini described the coat from pattern-to-color, detail-to-detail. ~~ Come last year’s somber Christmas holiday, I was clueless in what to get Alyssa. My mind was clouded. It was the second Saturday of December and I somehow got myself to start doing some Christmas shopping. There I was tired and miserable shopping alone, SO I THINK I WAS, because what happened next was totally extraordinary. After circling the mall for hours, and finally leaving Macy’s with an outfit and undergarments for Alyssa, I somehow ended up in The Children’s Place. I gasped, dropped all my bags and rummaged through my handbag for the cell phone. I called Jorge and told him, “you’re not going to believe this! A size 4, leopard print/pink coat, matching mitts and hat are before me. . .This has to be the coat Tini was talking about! . . . I know it is!!” The people in the store thought I was insane. I was shouting, crying tears of joy – I was thrilled to say the least. The clerk at the store was so sweet to listen to my bitter-sweet story. I danced out of the store with a beaming grin. The tiredness and misery were instantaneously gone. Life is a funny thing – remarkably, Tini, last year, did have her Thanksgiving dinner and Alyssa did get the coat that Tini wished. ~~~~~ ** Thank you, Tini, for allowing me to be part of your world and for letting me in your heart. You will always be in mine. I will forever miss your smile, laughter, friendship, trust and love. Your memorial with a red prayer candle will stand through the end of the month of November. God Bless your soul. Happy Birthday and Happy 1st year dancing in Heaven. ** From the highest and deepest end of my heart, I love you.